Run Time: Hook (1991)

Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Bob Hoskins, Julia Roberts
Running Time: 2 hours, 24 min.

Today’s Film:

Nina Boucicault. Pauline Chase. Zena Dare. Maude Adams. Mary Martin. From 1904 to 2013, from West End to Broadway to NBC, Peter Pan is perpetually portrayed by a woman on stage. Why? For one: London law kicked kids off stage after 9PM. And because Barrie missed that whole “chopping off boys’ balls to keep their soprano range” fad, why not give grown girls a shot? It’s like how all your cherished, cartoon lads were voiced by real-life ladies. Meet:

Bobby Hill (Pamela Adlon)

Tommy Pickles (Elizabeth Daily)

Bart Simpson (Nancy Cartwright)

Spielberg hints at this history in Hook. Look at who plays Pan in the film’s opening, primary school play:

This play was so terrible, you could say it was “panned”. Get it??

And whoa: Is that Adult Female Glenn Close jumping gender to play a Pirate? (Yup.)

Pictured: Albert Nobbs’ origin story.

So, bring on the next girl Pan! But, NBC: promise me it won’t be some stone-cold hottie playing a pre-teen Peter. Pleeeease: No boner confusion*.

Well, shit.

*Dibs on the band name.

The Movie’s Trailer: